The Corporate Chick
“Leave your pumps at the door”
By: Gideon T. Russell

She got her own car, her own house, her own office, her own secretary, her own life. She has her own, her own, her own corner office, upper management position, 50+ people report to her, respect from all colleagues, 6 figure salary, 5 bedroom, 4 bath home, luxury car, nice bank account, fine as it get….

 -Single and Lonely (why?)

-separate the corporate world from your personal life (how?)

-balance the work life and personal life

-relationships should not be run like a business

-being submissive isn’t losing your identity

-it’s hard to be with someone that is constantly saying "I got this”,

"I got that”, “I can do anything by myself”, and “I don't need anyone”

Ok ladies, many of you may have many of these stats. You have everything that you want.  You have everything that you have ever dreamed of, but you still have something missing.

Ok, all of us have seen the movies that Gabrielle Union has played in.  She normally plays the role of the African American Woman that is lonely, single, and always so negative and bitter.  She is caught up in her business life, and she has no room or time for a social life.  When she does find time for a social life or time to date, she usually takes her business attitude with her…

So let’s talk about the title, “The Corporate Chick”, and subtitle, “Leave your pumps at the door.”  The corporate chick is explained above-the type of woman that has everything that she has always wanted, but is single.  Leave your pumps at the door is just what it says.  When you get off work do not take your business mindset with you.  When you leave the office, leave all of your accolades at the building.  When you make it to the house, leave your pumps at the door.

For instance there is this woman that I know, let’s call her Shonna.  Shonna could not understand why she could not have a successful and productive relationship.  She couldn’t understand why she had it all but always felt lonely.  She is very educated, articulate, and has a nice body.  She owns her home and car and has no kids.  She is well versed and is respected in her career field.

Shonna runs everything in her office and is very meticulous, or even better said, very anal. With her nose in everything, she has something to say about all workings, even down to the smallest and irrelevant details.  In the office, she is known as the biggest snob. I could go on and on, but we all have worked for someone like this.  For some women who read this, I hope this doesn’t fit who you are.  Let’s get back to Shonna.  The way she ran her office and employees, is the same way she tried to run her relationships.   It was her driving point to be in control of everything.  She is known for saying, “it’s my way or no way”.  She wakes up in the morning just to hear her own voice; she tells herself (and anyone that will listen) that only her opinion counts and her opinions are actually facts.  To add fuel to the fire, she is always so negative and bitter, and always has a bad attitude.

Shonna was and is a lost cause. She would get a good man and she would run him off.  Shonna had many issues, but one of her main issues was no one showed her how to love. 

Shonna was part of the “BSC”, Black and Single Clique. All of her friends were just like her-bitter, negative, and didn’t have a clue about relationships and how to treat a man. Over time all of her friends became smart and began to change their ways.  They realized that in order to be in a relationship, they would have to let go of their single lady mentality, and put aside all the drama and games. They realized that in order to not be single and 25, single and 30, single and 35, and so on, there would have to be some major changes.  They realized that they were going to have to look in the mirror and make some vital changes.  They were going to have to open up their closet and get rid of all their excess baggage.  They knew they had to go to their knees and pray for a new outlook on life and direction for where to go.  They knew they were going to have to get in their word and read the bible for insight and sound doctrine, so they could become the women they were supposed to be. They knew they had to make changes so their future would be greater than their past.  They knew if they made those changes, they would be ready when God opened up the new doors in their life. 

Back to Shonna, she has her own house, her own car, no kids, great job, but she still has something missing.  She is now the only member in her group “B.S.C”.  All of her friends have positive and productive relationships, and are also better people for the growth and maturity process they went through.  As the solo member of  B.S.C, she realizes that change must come.   She now knows that she can't keep on doing the same things, yet expecting different results. 

For those reading this article, here goes a little insight.  If you want different results, you can't keep on doing the same things.  You can't keep on running around in circles if you want to go straight.  Doing the same exact things, but yet wanting different results is a sign of insanity.  So if you want changes in your life, you want something new, you want to make a difference, you have to drastically change what you are currently doing.

Let us get back to subject at hand.  Why are the vast majority of our African American Women single?  In my opinion, it is because they take the business, cut throat mentality to the relationship world.   In order to have a successful relationship they will have to find a way to separate the two worlds.  You have to find a way to leave your pumps at the door.  Another issue that always comes up is this “I” mentality.  "I got this”, "I got that”, “I can do anything by myself”, and “I don't need anyone”.  When you are in a relationship the I’s have to soon become “we”.  Independent ladies, all men know that you can make it on your own.  We have heard the songs, watched the videos, and we have seen many of you singing and dancing to the beats.  Men know you can do it, we know you can make it on your own, but do you really want to?  We know you are strong and independent, but it’s not something that has to be thrown in our faces and made a point of when you feel like broadcasting your stats.   

Ladies, men still want to be needed.  Deep down, men still have that cavemen mentality of going out into the fields and coming back home with the supplies to survive.  Men just want to feel like they are a vital part of the relationship.  We know you “got it”, so you don’t have to tell us. So ladies the bottom line is, leave your thought process from your job at your job.  Do NOT take that mentality to your home and your relationships.  Ladies, please leave your pump at the door. 

I know many of you will rebuff this article by saying, “Men are just weak’, and “Men can't handle a strong, independent woman”.  My answer to that is, it may just be true, if you want to be single for the rest of your life, or in and out of unsuccessful relationships.  Keep on doing the same things that you have been doing and you will keep getting the same results.  All your friends will continue to find love as they grow up and mature. Ok, you may say guys are just weak and he can't handle me.  There are guys that are weak, but you don’t want them anyway so move on.  When a good guy comes along why should he have to go through your baggage, go through your “Me” mentality, go through your “I'm a Single lady” crap.  Keep on singing those songs and thinking that way and you will continue to be successful in your career, but miserable, lonely and unsuccessful in love.