Love, Lust & Loneliness
By: Gideon T. Russell 

The snow has melted; the flowers and trees are in bloom and spring is in the air. Spring is finally here. What a great time to get out and walk around the park, a great time to stroll around the neighborhood, a great time for a baseball game; it’s a great time to be outside. Something special is looming in the atmosphere. Is it Love? Is it Lust? Or, is it just plain Loneliness?

After going through winter it is now time to get up and get outside. The sun is shining bright and there may be love in the air, well hopefully.

The definition of Love on the terms of Man and Woman is a strong passionate affection for a person of the opposite sex.

Lust is a strong wanting or desire for something or someone.

Lonely is without companion, an unpleasant feeling when a person experiences a strong sense of emptiness.

For those of you who are single and looking for that special someone this season please be careful in the way that you are looking. Some may look for love; others may look for a fling and searching out of lust, and others may be searching desperately in their loneliness.

While you are looking don’t get confused during your search. If you are looking for love, then you know you must be patient and let God send the right mate for you. If you are looking for a “just right now”, then know you can't force that “just right now” into something permanent. Some people may be looking for that special someone out of loneliness or what we call “desperation”. If you are desperate, then don’t look for anything more than what it is. When your time of loneliness creeps in and “Mr. Right now” comes through, don’t try to change him to being something that you want and something he’s not. For the fellas, don’t try to turn a hoe into a housewife. When you got bologna, you can't expect it to turn to steak at the snap of your fingers.

You can't make a moment of passion a lifetime of love. So don’t try to make your fling, that moment of lust into more than what it is. When you try to make what you thought was going to be a moment into a lifetime that’s when problems arise. This is just a side note, when you are doing adult activities please use protection and be wise in your decision making. You do not want to get a STD or bring a child into this world out of wedlock. This is for another article so I will move on from here.

I know some of you are tired of internet dating, tired of lonely movie night, tired of lame date after date, tired of lonely nights on the couch with a glass of wine and a good book. All these things may be cool for a moment, but I know your thinking there has to be more than this. Be patient, and let the right one come to you the correct way. Pray to God and tell Him exactly what you want and expect to have in a relationship, in a mate.

When people come into your life they may have many purposes. Each individual could be a season, a reason, or a lifetime; you just have to know what category each person may be. Do not get confused and put someone that’s a fling or you find in lust into the lifetime category when they should be a season or moment. Love is confusing, it could be a reason, a season, and a lifetime. At different points in our life we go through different lessons and each test gives us a chance to improve who we are. Each test takes us to new levels in life and gives us a chance to mature. Every relationship that we have ever had we could learn something from. Think back to all your past relationships and try to figure out the good and the bad that you can learn from each one. Even though the relationship was unsuccessful, there is always something that you can learn from it and take into your next relationship.

Ok we now know we shouldn’t try to build lifetime relationships on lust and out of loneliness. So we are going to focus on love. We are going to talk about how to develop and how to keep a loving relationship.

This is the beginning part of the relationship. These are the times where you are building up, where you are setting the foundation on to what you can possibly grow into.

Obvious Items-Be honest, Show your beauty, your warmth, your wit, your compassion, and etc., etc., etc.

Have fun- If you aren’t happy then no one else can make you happy. Have a positive attitude, don’t look for happiness in someone else, you should find it in yourself first. Smile, laugh, have fun, relax and enjoy the moment. Be willing to try and do new things. Things you like will be different from the things the other like. So step out of your box and maybe you can learn something new and have fun while doing it.

Communicate- Talk about everything, lay everything on the table. If you can't be honest with yourself then you can't be honest with anyone else. Let the person truly know who you are, so you can grow and go further or you can discover if you are incompatible. It’s better to find out early then end up being with someone a lifetime when they should have been a moment. (Married then divorced, you still have to deal with that person for the rest of your life. If you have children then you are connected to that person even more.)

Be yourself- Be confident and secure in who you are. Do not lose yourself in the relationship. He or she was originally attracted to you the way you were when you first met, so don’t lose that. Whatever drew that person to you is what attracts them to you. Keep on maturing, keep on growing as an individual and you will grow in your relationship. Don’t lose focus of yourself. You don’t want to look to the other individual for everything; if you do you will run them off.

To Keep Love

Continue - You must still do the same things you did in the beginning. See list above

Grow - You can't stay stagnant. You have to have spice; add things to your relationship as you grow together. Do not be stagnant.

Read books, explore, get knowledge; there are many books and websites that give great ideas and advice. Books like; 100 things to do with your girl/boyfriend or anything that gives you information on keeping the spice. Do not become predictable. Keep her or him on their toes, don’t become regular, and always be unique and different. Do not lose your edge. Do not become so comfortable with your mate that you let everything hang out. Control your bodily functions, (enough said on that one). If you wear make-up in the beginning then keep on doing it. Keep your sexy up. Do not always wear the gym shorts and t-shirts. Make sure that you always keep them wanting and desiring you.

Small Things - Keep on doing the little things that you did in the beginning days. A lot of times it’s the small things that are remembered. It’s the small things that can build a lasting relationship.

Key Note - Make sure your boo always know you appreciate them. Tell them and show them that they are loved. Tell them that you truly appreciate them, and do not take them for granted. We all have been in bad relationships, so when you get a good Man or Woman, make sure you show them that they are wanted, needed, and loved.

We just went through Love, Lust, and Loneliness. We discussed the levels of each subject matter, then we focused on what we all want, and that is “Love”. We now have some tools, knowledge, and information to have loving and lasting relationships. So be blessed and stay safe as you search for love and as love searches for you.