So You Want To Be Submissive
"Facts, Fictions,  & Reality"
By: Gideon T. Russell & LaToria Powell

"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church..." Ephesians 5:21-23

Submissiveness, a very controversial topic. Highly debated, men are down for it, women hate it, and everyone seems to be confused by its true meaning. Some people say that terms this word goes by should be stuck in the 50’s.  There are so many false stories; there are many generational curses and secrets that seem to be associated with this word. 

Generational curses and secrets are family issues, illnesses, and stories that have been passed down from generation to generation.  Some generational secrets are when a mother tells her daughter to always put back money once she is married. The grandma told the mother, and then the mother told her daughter and so on and so on.  Another curse that is passed down and we see this one a lot in movies and on TV.  The dad tells the son, “The only thing women are good for is cooking and raising my kids”.  The son listens to these stories from his father and he incorporates them into his life and he passes these stories on to his sons.  Now you got generation after generation of confusion.   A lot of the secrets were things that people thought were right, but really was doing more harm than good for the family. Keeping a stash of money from your mate never really allows you to commit to that relationship. You always have one foot out the door in case something happens.  When something small comes up, it is easy to say, “I been putting back money all these years, so I don’t need you”.  There are many more generational curses and secrets that are out there and that has been passed down, but I will discuss those items in a future article.  

How can you submit to someone when you have false information and you are building your relationship on things that will only fail in the long run?  You must commit, you must submit, and you must allow the word of God to lead you.

Today we are going to sit down and dissect the word “Submission” or “being submissive”, the facts, the fiction, and the reality.  There may be a lot of negative connotations that go along with the word submissive, but in a relationship, with God as the lead it can be a beautiful thing.  

I'm going to pass the pen on to another writer; she is going to give you the background and the truth about the word submissive from a woman point of view.  Sit back and enjoy and I hope you receive some knowledge that you can use in your life.

The Woman Speaks;

You want me to be submissive?  This is a joke for some women of the new millennium.  We have all heard the myths associated with being submissive.  Ladies, it’s time we have a brief conversation about this scary word.  We will go through the lies, truths, and how it applies to us today. 

Let’s start with a few facts.  Submissive means yielding or obeying readily.  People who are passive, compliant, and docile are normally seen as submissive.  Submission is a choice.  We - I’m speaking to the women as a woman – have a choice to be passive, to obey, to read, and to write.  It is truly our choice.  Now, let’s clarify.  You should only submit to legal things.  You do not submit to things legally, morally, or ethically wrong.  You do not submit to helping your man sell drugs.  You do not submit to helping your man rob your neighbor.  You do not submit to evildoings.

We have a few facts down, so now let’s go to fiction.  Most women see submissive as a curse word.  We see being submissive as stepping back into the 1950’s.  You know what I mean.  The husband works all day and wife is at home cooking, cleaning and raising the kids.  When the husband comes home from work, the wife waits on him hand and foot.  If the husband says jump, the wife says how high.  This is all untrue – they are simply myths.  Being submissive does not give your man the right to disrespect you.  It does not mean his way; his word is final no matter what, always and forever.  Being submissive does not mean losing your identity.  Women, it does not mean we lose all of our independence.  Submissive should not have a negative connotation.  I have just listed a few myths that go through our minds.

Now, let’s focus on the reality.  We’ve discussed the fiction about women being submissive.  Ephesians 5:22-23 says “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church.  He is the Savior of the body,” Yes ladies, it is true.  The Bible does say submit to your husband.  But husbands, Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her,”.  Christ loved the church and did everything positive for the church.  Women, now in order to follow and be submissive to your husband, he has to be a man of God in order to lead correctly.  Women, we are all about being independent.  There isn’t anything wrong with being independent, but if you want to keep a good man, you have to release some of that independent woman attitude.  You have to become united as one with your mate.  Remember, the two of you are in it together.  Being submissive does not mean you can’t voice your opinion.  In a relationship, you have to know you strengths and weaknesses as well as his strengths and weaknesses.  Ladies, trust me, he does have strengths!  If you can’t think of any, then that’s a story for another day! 

For example, if you are great with numbers and paying bills, but you are horrible at cooking, maybe your husband should prepare meals while you assist him.  You can pay the bills, but let him know what’s going on in case you go out of town for a while.  You can’t leave him totally lost!

To sum this all up, being submissive is not a control factor for men.  This is not a step back for women.  Men and women both have to work together in order to keep a happy, successful, and loving relationship.  Just listen first and react later.  Don’t be so fast to jump to conclusions.  Men, remember you guys are not perfect, and deep down we know we aren’t either.  We just don’t tell you’ll that.  We may talk a lot, but there is actually some good information we are passing along.  We may talk a lot, but we also want your opinion. We want you to step up and be the man of the household.  We want you to be what God ordained you to be. We want you to be the leader of our household, but only in you are led by God and have a plan for our family and ready to work to get us there.  So as your woman, I want us to come together to make the best decisions for our family.  With God as our lead, I am submitting myself to you, as you Love me.

Ok I’m back again.  We just received knowledge on submission or being submissive from a woman point of view. We now have a lot of knowledge and information to use in our relationships. Let’s get this right and have loving and lasting relationships. We want to have relationships that our children can be proud, we want to set a higher standard for the next generation.

If you want more information on this subject, you can check out a previous article, “Men must lead so women shall believe”. Gideon T. Russell