To start off with, this is a letter from the fellas to the ladies. I'm going to start off by speaking to the men for a quick moment… 

Men in all of our relationships we have heard the words, “we need to talk” from our girl, our spouse, our mate.   Those four words have sent chills through our bodies. We have received that text, phone call, or email in the beginning of the day; and those four little words have messed up our entire afternoon.  All through the day we are expecting the worse when we make it home, and all our past actions are now going through our mind…Okay, this is just the intro, from this point on I'm going to primarily talk to the women and give the men a voice on our point of view on this matter. Instead of a Public Service Announcement, this is going to be a Women Service Announcement; (W.S.A).

Women, to start off with, those four little words, “we need to talk”, never sit well with men. No matter how small or large the issue is in your mind, when you come to us with those four words it changes everything.  Majority of the time when “We need to talk” is used it’s always a big issue.  May not be a big issue for the men, but if it is in your head it’s a big issue for you and whoever is under that roof. Who would have known that four small words together would carry such a big punch and cause so much debate?

Where do I start? Well first off, women, when you use the words, “We need to talk” it’s not fair to us men. Let me explain. Ladies, before you bring any topic to your man, any idea, any thought, you already have it planned and mapped out. Inside your head, you already know how you want the conversation to go. You already know what you want him to say, and you know exactly what answers you want him to give. If anything is different from the conversation you rehearsed in your mind, then the man is going to be wrong no matter what he says. So far am I correct?

Let’s step back for a second. Ladies, before the four words, “We need to talk” is ever sent out through the airways a lot of thought has come into motion - a lot of pacing back and forward, a lot of phone calls, a lot of cold shoulders, and a lot of restless nights.

Ladies, I know you want your man to be a mind reader or a fortune teller.  As for me and most men I know, we aren’t psychic and we don’t have telepathic powers.  We are not going to grab your palms and start reading your mind and your inner thoughts. We don’t have a crystal ball to see what is going on in your heads.  If you didn’t know, we are men; we think totally different from the way you think.  Ladies if you have a problem that you think we should know about, let me make this plain and simple for you, most men don’t know and probably will never know unless you tell us. If for some reason we figure out that something is wrong and we ask you and you tell us nothing is wrong, is that our fault?  Most of the time ladies, you don’t know what the root of the problem is; if you fully don’t know, then how are we going to know?  You may be mad and upset about something and really don’t know why. If we do figure out something is wrong, by the time we ask, the problem is already bigger and been going on a lot longer.

So to save a lot of issues and problems in our relationships, if you have a problem, let us men know. Don’t let something that could have been resolved after a day, build up and fester for weeks, months, and sometime years. So to save a lot of unneeded drama and stress please tell us when you have an issue.  

Men if you do figure out that your significant other have a problem please be sincere to her feelings and try to resolve it.  So men if you would take the time to react to those long sighs, or changes in attitude that our women express when they are worried or bothered then maybe the problem could be resolved before it has time to fester and aggravate them even more.  So fellas, “If you LISTEN to the WHISPERS now you won't have to HEAR the SCREAMS later.”

Let me go back for a minute and explain on the statement I made that said, “If you didn’t know, we are men, and we think totally differently than the way you think”. Men and women are wired totally different and we are designed to think and react differently to things. Things that bother women, don’t affect men; things that worry men don’t show up on a woman’s radar.

Why don’t we truly know all the deep details? Why don’t we know as men, when our woman has a deep issue?  We are not tapped into the conversations when you are venting all your problems, pains, and hurt to your girlfriends and/or mother. The deep down things that make you tick we will never know; the inner thoughts you have we will never hear about.  The things that keep you up late at night, we are truly unaware of. We don’t know these things because you don’t tell us.  You don’t let us in on those inner things. Those conversations, those emotions, those thoughts are saved for once again the girlfriends and/or mothers. Ladies, I know you go to your girlfriends and mothers because they are great listeners and because you just want to release these feelings and emotions from your heart, your mind, and deep down from your soul. Basically you just want to vent.

So ladies if you do go to your man with a problem and all you want to do is vent, please let us know. We are problem solvers; we will try to fix the situation. If the conversation just requires a good ear and an occasional nod, tell us and it will prevent a lot more heartaches and problems. I'm not going to go into detail about this matter, but more on this subject can be found in a previous article; “Men must lead so Women can believe”.           

(Excerpt)

Ladies, men want to feel needed; we are problem solvers, by nature. If it is broken, we will try to fix it. Women if you have a problem and you go to your man with it, he will try to fix it.

If you do not want it fixed, tell us from the beginning and that will save a lot of drama. We try to fix things by nature; that's what we do. So women if you don't want it fixed, just tell us from the beginning that you want to vent off and you just want to talk about it.

Let us get back to the subject matter at hand; this discussion started with the four words “We need to talk”.  So if you do happen to send out a text, email, or make a phone call that says “We need to talk”, please state the problem.  Please state the issue so we can have a heads up on what the conversation is going to be about and so we can prepare for it. It’s not fair for us men to come into a conversation not knowing what it’s about and you already have thought about it for days, weeks, months or in extreme cases, the subject matter has been festering for years.  It’s like going into a gun fight without a gun. Ladies, your gun is locked and loaded and you have plenty of ammunition ready to fire. In most cases the guy is ambushed before he ever knew he needed a gun.

Ladies in the “We need to talk” conversations, there may be a few ultimatums given and a few questions that may require deep, thought out answers from us men.  You demand an answer from us at that point?  Please give us time to think, give us time to answer any questions without asking the next.   Now please answer this question: is that fair, is it just, is that showing Love?

One last note, I know this may cause a big debate and discussion, but hopefully it opens a lot of eyes and opens the lines of communication in relationships. Women you may also say we should have known about the problem already, but to let you in on a secret, “We truly don’t know; “We are simple”.  We are MEN; we think, act, and are wired totally differently than women. If you want a real man in your life, please respect the fact that men are not mind readers and our thought process is totally different than yours.  So now I'm going to ask this question on behalf of the men and it’s directed to our other half.   “We need to talk?”  As in talk, I mean have a conversation, where it goes back and forward and both sides has an opinion and voice.  Let us get this right and strive for healthy and more productive conversations in our relationships. I'm going to end with this, fellas, “If you LISTEN to the WHISPERS now you won't have to HEAR the SCREAMS later.”

Thank you for your time and God Bless.